english 101

The structure of this essay flows very nicely and is well organized along with being well written. Your summary states strong evidence and quotes that could help readers understand more. I like that you added the source at the beginning, giving your source and the readers can also go back to find it and read that article itself. The paragraphs are very well written. There is ratio of good information and quotes. It is very straight forward and makes me as a reader want to keep reader. All the points that were made are very informational and could help the reader know what activities that can help their children grow their mindset, social skills, responsibilities and more.

Growing up, having independence is what every kid or teen needs. Whether the child’s independence is playing outside, playing a sport, hanging with friends or what not. They need to have independence to be able to grow their mind, social skills and to have fun. Children or teens not having independency can have effect on their mental health. There are many articles that show supporting evidence on how children or teens with no independence can take a toll on their own mental well- being.

The first article that I had read that correlates with my theme was published by the Journal of Pediatrics “Decline in Independent Activity as Cause of Decline in Children’s Mental Well-being: Summary of the Evidence.” The article talks about there had been a rise in school-aged children and teens in the US to experience anxiety and depression and how it has affected the, how children in different cultures experienced independence, independence in different countries. It starts off by stating that in the 1970s children have experienced way more independence than children and teens do now. Children growing up in the 1970s were able to play and engage in many activities without parent supervision. But overtime there had been changes in children and teens independence. There would be a decrease in play time and other activities for children and teens to engage in because parents have grown a fear of the crime and traffic. It very normal to worry about the crime and traffic but children’s and teens need their own independence to be able to grow. The article also stated by the year of 2019 about 36.7% of high school students ranging from ages 14 to 18 years old have reoccurring feeling of sadness and hopelessness and have had suicidal thoughts. 18.8% of US high school students have considered attempting suicide and 15.7% made a suicide plan along with 8.9% having attempted suicide one or more times and there is 2.5% of high school students that have attempted suicide and needed medical treatment. Teens have also felt more independent and happier when having a part time job because they are able to work on their social life. There have also been studies and observations that “play is a direct source of children’s happiness.” Children were asked what is and what is not play and the children said it was activities with little parental supervision. Having so much parental supervision can take a toll on the child or teens live because it can affect their well-being, mental health. Being able to have independence will help them grow, feel some form of freedom, be able to experience life, work on social skills and more.

Another article I have found to support this information is from Florida Atlantic University stated that children having risk play like climbing on a tree or rock-climbing wall can help protect them from getting any sort of phobias. It can also help reduce the risk of anxiety because it can boost up their confidence. It had also stated that in 2021, Child and adolescents’ mental health was to be declared a national emergency.

Therefore, I believe teens should have the independency that they need. It will help them in the long run it will help with social skills, mental- well-being, communication skills, responsibility, problem solving skills and much more. Although with young children in elementary school it is hard to give them independency due to them being so young, but I believe them being able to play in the backyard and playing with other kids at recces and or daycare will help them grow their mind. Every child and teen needs some type of independency.

summary of decline in independent activity as cause of childrens mental well being.pdf

All the feedback I had received for my essay I had agreed with and took all the notes and opinions into consideration. I had reread my essay, and I had noticed why I had got the feedback I had received. Some of the changes I had made were to explain at the beginning what it meant just us and explained the pictures and tried to describe my dad as a person with what he has does in the beginning. I had also gone in to explain that the reasoning she had come down to visit was to see my nephew, along with explaining the type of bag I had with me. I tried to explain briefly about why my mother had gone back and forth and fought with me. I also went in and talked about what we would do during my visits with my mom in Florida. The places we would go were all sunshine and rainbows for me growing up but that was before this had happened. I had done my best to take in all the feedback I had received. I take getting feedback as a good thing because there are always things you can work better at or become even more advanced in some things. It also helps you see a different view on things and not just have a one-sided opinion or thought.

Pictures, after pictures. Smiles after smiles. I always have these beautiful vacations I had taken with my dad and two sisters to look back on. I could feel the laughter, playfulness, warmth and the happiness. It was just us. My dad was always there with us. At school events during elementary school, sports games, dentist appointments, school shopping, award nights at school, when we got sick. But one person was always missing: my mom. She left and moved to Florida when I was three years old. Although she never considered how it would affect her children, every other summer and during holidays, my sisters and I would travel to Florida to visit her and catch up.  During those visits, I ranged in age from six to fourteen. We would always go to downtown Disney, the waterparks, Funspot, the beach, go fishing and go to an ice cream spot called Twistee Treats after getting food at Steak N’ shake. It was always laughter and fun times during those times. At a young age, I always thought it was cool to go somewhere hot every summer. Or to be somewhere for Christmas that didn’t have snow. But as a little kid, I wished I had a mom and dad in the same house. Later on, those feelings have changed.

After turning 15, I had seen a different side of my mom. It wasn’t like the good old times, when it was always laughter. The saying “it’s not always sunshine and rainbows” had come true. It wasn’t sunshine and rainbows. It was as if dark, fluffy clouds swarmed the sky that March night. I remember that night vividly. She had come to Massachusetts to visit my nephew, and a flip had switched with her. “You are not going anywhere”, “You are staying with me in the hotel until I go back to Florida”. Is what she was saying as she was pulling my floral vera Bradley duffle bag back and forth with me. Tears started to form in my eyes and start running down my face, not being able to breathe. I dropped the floral vera Bradley duffle bag and went to lock myself in the hotel bathroom. I just wanted my dad. I needed my dad. It was all because I had to go home for school, and she knew that earlier that day. Sitting in the bathroom I scrabble to text my sisters and dad while shaking and my sight getting blurry from so many tears that were forming. My phone dinging so much my sister, Amanda was on her way to get me with her boyfriend since she lived closest to the hotel she was staying at in Warwick.

Leaving the hotel room and going outside with my stepdad and mom I couldn’t stop crying and thinking “What did I do wrong”. Before walking to my other sister, Amanda, and her boyfriend’s car, my stepdad said, ” Do you want to say bye to your mom” and the unthinkable words had formed out of my mother’s mouth:” I am not your mom anymore, you do not have a mom anymore.”

Once I got to the car more and more tears were being produced and kept pouring out of my eyes. I never thought words like that would ever be said. The way back home, all I heard was, “You didn’t deserve that. “I’m so sorry” from my sister and her boyfriend. I stayed silent. During that car ride, I had to rotate my focus to looking out the window. I watched cars passing by, and the rain falling from the dark sky. “I just want my dad. I need my dad.” Those words kept flowing through my head.  

We arrived at my house. My dad and stepmom were in the living room waiting up for me. I ran to my dad, and the tears kept pouring out. It was just silent. All I can hear is the words ” I’m sorry” and “It’s going to be okay” from my dad and stepmom. Being held in my dad’s arms, crying, I felt okay. More at ease now. Days after what had happened with my mom, my dad would constantly check in on my in my room, send check in text while I was at school saying, “How are you feeling today”, he would also take me on drives for me to clear my head. In that moment, I knew who a real parent was. And it was my dad.

After that had occurred with my mom, our relationship was never the same. But the relationship with my dad grew. He had become my best friend. He never liked seeing me crying and upset because of what my mom had put me and my sisters through. He was always there to pick up the pieces that had been broken. He had played the mom and dad role for my sisters and me. During those hard times, my dad would always say, “Just keep swimming,” from Finding Nemo. He would always remind me that no matter what happens, everything will be okay. He had always been my number one supporter.

He had helped me throughout high school. And he had gone to all my soccer games since I was six years old. He would help me practice at the soccer fields; he would give me pointers on what I can work on. He had done my hair when I was little either a slick back ponytail, braids or a bun and helped me with homework since I was in elementary school to now. He was there for my proms. He was there when I got awards from school. He was there for my high school graduation. Anything that had happened or anything that had to do with me, my dad was there.

He was there when I needed someone to talk to. When I needed a shoulder to cry on. Even talked to him about boys. He would show me songs to pick me up in hard times. No matter what it was, my dad was there for me.

Growing up, I had always thought a girl’s best friend was supposed to be their mom. But for me, my best friend is my dad. He is my number one supporter. To this day, I still ask him for help with my homework. I continue to work hard and do my best, not just for myself but also for my dad. I will also be forever grateful for all the things my dad has done and what he continues to do for me. My dad is my best friend and my hero. He is the parent my sisters and I were meant to have.

My dad is the parent who stepped up.

I Just want to start off by saying I am sorry about your loss, I deeply am. I may not know what it is like to lose a sibling, but I do know what it feels like for your sibling to do something memorable for you. During the reading, I can get picture your head against the window on the bus, but I do wish I could feel more of the excitement you have felt. In paragraph three, it had felt like I can feel the Laughter and happiness while you are setting up for your party. In the next paragraphs I had felt the shift change. I understand when something happens it will never be the same. You have grasped how it affected your role in the house now. In your last paragraph It had touched me that” you have to love people out loud” because it is true you never know when it is your last time with them. I have felt the emotion in this writing. I would try to work on punctuation and more detail of things. But overall, I had enjoyed this essay. Thank you for sharing such heartfelt essay about what has happened in your life, I appreciate the courage you have to write this personal essay. I am deeply sorry for your loss.

Pictures, after pictures. Smiles after smiles. I showed all the beautiful vacations I had taken with my dad and two sisters. It was just us. But one person was always missing: my mom. She left and moved to Florida when I was three years old. Although she never considered how it would affect her children, every other summer and during holidays, my sisters and I would travel to Florida to visit her and catch up.  During those visits, I ranged in age from six to fourteen, and at a young age, I always thought it was cool to go somewhere hot every summer. Or to be somewhere for Christmas that didn’t have snow. But as a little kid, I wished I had a mom and dad in the same house. Later on, those feelings have changed.

After turning 15, I had seen a different side of my mom. It wasn’t like the good old times, when it was always laughter. The saying “it’s not always sunshine and rainbows” had come true. It wasn’t sunshine and rainbows. It was as if dark, fluffy clouds swarmed the sky that March night. I remember that night vividly. She had come to Massachusetts to see her grandson, and a flip had switched with her. “You are not going anywhere”, “You are staying with me until I leave”. As she is pulling my bag back and forth with me. Tears running down my face, not being able to breathe. I drop the bag and lock myself in the hotel bathroom. I just wanted my dad. I needed my dad. As I walked to my other sister, Amanda, and her boyfriend’s car, the unthinkable words had formed out of my mother’s mouth:” I am not your mom anymore, you do not have a mom anymore.”

More and more tears were being produced and kept pouring out of my eyes. I never thought words like that would ever be said. The way back home, all I heard was, “ You didn’t deserve that. “I’m so sorry” from my sister and her boyfriend. I stayed silent. During that car ride, I had to rotate my focus to looking out the window. I watched cars passing by, and the rain falling from the dark, starry sky. “ I just want my dad. I need my dad.” Those words kept flowing through my head.  

We arrived at my house. My dad and stepmom were in the living room waiting up for me. I ran to my dad, and the tears kept pouring out. Being held in my dad’s arms, crying, I felt okay. More at ease now. In that moment, I knew who a real parent was. And it was my dad.

After that had occurred with my mom, our relationship was never the same. But the relationship with my dad grew. He had become my best friend. He never liked seeing me crying and upset because of what my mom had put me and my sisters through. He was always there to pick up the pieces that had been broken. He had played the mom and dad role for my sisters and me. During those hard times, my dad would always say, “Just keep swimming,” from Finding Nemo. He would always remind me that no matter what happens, everything will be okay. He had always been my number one supporter.

He had helped me throughout high school. And he had gone to all my soccer games since I was six years old. He had done my hair when I was little and helped me with homework. He was there for my proms. He was there when I got awards from school. He was there for my high school graduation. Anything that had happened or anything that had to do with me, my dad was there.

He was there when I needed someone to talk to. When I needed a shoulder to cry on. Even talked to him about boys. He would show me songs to pick me up in hard times. No matter what it was, my dad was there for me.

Growing up, I had always thought a girl’s best friend was supposed to be their mom. But for me, my best friend is my dad. He is my number one supporter. To this day, I still ask him for help with my homework. I continue to work hard and do my best, not just for myself but also for my dad. I will also be forever grateful for all the things my dad has done and what he continues to do for me. My dad is my best friend and my hero. He is the parent my sisters and I were meant to have.

My dad is the parent who stepped up.

Killing Chickens – Creative Nonfiction

The memoir I have picked is “Killing Chickens” by Meridith Hall. The essay starts off with a mother killing her chickens one by one on her 38th birthday. But her birthday had taken a turn of events. That day, her brother called that morning to inform her that he had caught his wife, her best friend Ashley had been in bed with her husband John a year before. Filled with anger, she went and confronted him, and John told her “To go fuck myself” and got in his truck and left. With the confrontation that had happened her two sons, Ben and Sam had heard the commotion while they were in the kitchen making a surprise for their mother. She later, kept killing the chickens her husband was supposed to do. Also, she kept moving forward telling her children it will be okay, she even told herself that the next day she will call a lawyer, and she will figure how to do things herself.

In the essay, one detail that had stood out to me was the chickens. What I took from killing the chickens was letting go of old things that do not have a deep purpose like they used to. Another detail that stood out is how she frosted the cake bens favorite color and baked a cake with her sons. I believe that this just shows how she cares deeply for people especially her sons. It shows that no matter what happens, she will put her loved ones first despite what she feels on the inside. Lastly, the third detail that stood out to me was when she said she will call a lawyer tomorrow, put her sons gifts up and put fresh shavings and clean the coop. I think this her way of trying to do things herself and see that everything will be okay.

The reason I picked this essay is because the connection I took from it. The descriptive beginning made me want to read more. The more and more I had read the essay the more I was intrigued. What I took from the essay was about letting go of things even if it hurts you and that big changes are okay, and that things will work out, and another thing I got from it was that spending time with people you love. From what I took from the essay has given me good ideas of what I want to write from my memoir.

After reading the article, I have a different sight on AI. AI could be possibly help you if you are using it correctly. There are to be some advantages and disadvantages when it comes to AI. If using AI for writing does not give the same effect as if you wrote it yourself. The reasoning behind that like the article stated is because AI does not give the human emotions and the creative, we have.

In the article, there was a comparison made between AI and calculators, that they are both tools that are there for us to leverage from. And I believe that is a good comparison because we all use calculators when we need to solve a math equation. But do, we all use AI as a leverage? Using AI for writing won’t capture the creativity, hard work, and emotions that you have to bring. AI just gives a faster response than we could give. It could help give you some opinions, but wouldn’t you want to get some informational opinions from real people’s articles and be able to cite where you got the information from. When getting some information from AI could be beneficial if you do not want to go and read articles. But a disadvantage could be that you cannot back up that information with a source. It is like when you use a calculator to solve an equation but don’t show your work to how you got that answer. As I stated above with using AI for writing it compares to just using a calculator and not showing your work. You won’t be learning anything and put the hard work, and time into it. Like I have stated above using AI and calculators are helpful things we have as leverage on, but the more AI grows do we think it is as helpful as we think.

what is the best ice cream flavor?

ChatGBT response: Ice cream is one of the most beloved desserts worldwide, with countless flavors to choose from. While some people argue that classics like vanilla or chocolate reign supreme, the best ice cream flavor is cookies and cream. This flavor combines the smooth, creamy texture of vanilla ice cream with crunchy, chocolate sandwich cookie pieces, creating a perfect balance of sweetness and texture.

One reason cookies and cream stands out is its versatility. Unlike some flavors that can feel overwhelming after a few bites, cookies and cream remains enjoyable from the first spoonful to the last. The cookies provide bursts of crunch and chocolate, while the vanilla base keeps the taste light and refreshing. This balance prevents the flavor from becoming too rich or too plain.

Additionally, cookies and cream has wide appeal. It satisfies both chocolate lovers and those who prefer milder flavors. Because of this, it is often a crowd favorite at parties, ice cream shops, and family gatherings. Its popularity also means it is available almost everywhere, making it a reliable choice for anyone craving a sweet treat.

Finally, cookies and cream pairs well with other desserts. Whether served on top of a warm brownie, blended into a milkshake, or eaten on its own, it enhances the dish without overpowering it. This versatility makes it more than just an ice cream flavor—it is a dessert experience.

In conclusion, while many flavors compete for attention, cookies and cream deserves the title of best ice cream flavor. Its perfect balance, wide appeal, and versatility make it unbeatable.

1. The way I would evaluate or review this essay is by using a plagiarism detection tool along with using an AI detection tool. I would also look at words that most people would not use. Another thing I would look at while reading this essay would be punctuation.
2. I believe submitting this in a college classroom that it would be considered to be plagiarism. My reasoning behind this is because it would still be taking credit for someone else’s work even if it is from ChatGPT. If you are copying other writings word for word and not citing where you had got this information from like ChatGPT or an article.
3. Yes, you could revise it and make it more acceptable for submission. I will write a short portion to demonstrate how it could be more acceptable.

Ice cream is known to be one of the most popular choices for dessert. The variety of flavor’s is what makes people in the world love it so much. There has always been a debate of whether the best ice cream flavor are the original flavors such as vanilla and or chocolate, but it has been found that the best ice cream flavor is cookies and cream. The reason why people love this flavor so much is because of its combination it brings. From its smooth, creamy texture the vanilla brings out, to its crunchy, chocolatey sandwich bites. Which brings out the perfect balance from sweetness to crunchiness.